Tuesday, December 22, 2009

RTT: Is Christmas over yet?

I know that everyone feels this way, but I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO! I have been diligently documenting the various Christmas festivities of this fair country and haven't had a spare moment yet to put them into any kind of cohesive script. So...

You'll all just have to wait. On the upside? That makes it a perfect day for Random Tuesday Thoughts!

We went on lovely walk Sunday morning and sauntered over to the neighboring farm for a little chat with the farmer who resides there. Well, maybe we didn't really go over to talk with him... it could be that the kids are obsessed with his horses: a brown one and a black one that my kids have fondly dubbed Brownie and Blackberry. There is an excellent little Shetland pony, too, but they haven't named him... I, however, call him Bill.

Yes. Because of Lord of the Rings. You are dealing with a woman who was prepared to name one of her children Merriweather (similar to Meriodoc) just so I could call him Merry, so don't mess with my LOTR fetish, a'ight?

exhibit A

I think this horse could've reached his lip right into my husband's pocket and bitten off a finger. If he'd wanted to. He sensed my apprehension and backed off, though. Lord knows he wouldn't want to jeopardize his steady supply of apples that are frequently smuggled out of my fruit basket by CC.

You think I'm exaggerating his precociousness?

I give you exhibit B:


Almost got his thumb!

In other news of Christmas ideas that sound like a good idea but maybe aren't so fab:

<------------------- Check out this guy! The North Pole's grumpiest elf. This is what his face looked like the entire time he was at the this Christmas event. There is only one word for an elf like this:

defined as rude in a mean-spirited or surly way.

Although, upon closer examination of his person and the event in question, I might have to go with:

Aggrieved: feeling resentment at having been unfairly treated.

I couldn't help but wonder if he was a grandson that was continually pressed into the family holiday biz and that he had reached the age where no amount of money is enough to cover the horror of having to dress in this fruity elf outfit.


I admit that I got a case of the giggles laughing at this poor bloke. I had help. It wasn't just me, I swear.

In other random bits....

My youngest son is trying on every swear word he has ever heard. I am surprised at the breadth of his vocabulary for one so young, I must admit. Either he has been listening closely for many moons or he is a very quick study. I don't recall swearing in front of him this much, though, so I am doing some reconnaissance on the bigger boys to see if that is where it is coming from. The Animal actually came up to the other day and said, "Thith fuckin' car won't work." I said, "WHAT??" He said, "Thith fuckin' car." and held it up to me. Almost speechless, I again said, "WHat?!?" And then "Don't say that!!" To which he replied, with a shrug of his shoulders and raising his hands up palmwards, "What? Fuckin'th not a bad word."

*shaking my head in silent despair and wonder*



  1. The poor mean elf I wonder if he knows he is on the naughty list! Or maybe he is sick of the tights! I love your swearing animal....after England you need to move to Jersey and he will fit right in!! Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year!

  2. Our two and a half year old has already learned "dammit." No saltier stuff yet.

  3. I've already started my truck and I couldn't stop reading your Random Tuesday. Too much good stuff. Thanks!

  4. Oh my gosh. That was seriously funny even though I feel like I shouldn't be laughing at it...lol.

  5. You know, the Christmas hype starts so early anymore, that if you told me Christmas came and went already, and that I slept through it it, I might believe you!
    We'll need the weekend to sleep it off! You have a merry Christmas!


  6. That's too funny when they are trying out naughty words. You don't know if you should laugh or yell at them.
    Have a great holiday weekend!

  7. Thanks to Hubs and his R-rated iPod, Youngest likes to yell out "beeeeeyoch!" at random moments.

    I know I'm going to hell, but it's too stinkin' funny. Until he does it next week at my parent's house.

    And don't you guys have Boxing Day over there as well? Yippeee, one more Holiday to add to the list. Sorry if that was news :-)

    Merry Christmas!!!

  8. It was very helpful that my youngest had a speech impediment when he was that age. His language was terrible and I was the only who understood him. I blame it on his father. Who's language is as salty as it gets.

  9. I won't be the one to make fun of your LOTR fetish, I love it too. I had major Legolas lust after I watched the first movie. Then I saw Orlando Bloom the way he is in real life and it totally killed my buzz.

  10. 1. That elf needs a drink, even if he does look like he's 12.
    2. So the child is right on cue with his development! ha ha! I'm always surprised when those nasty (and sometimes tasty!) words come out of their pretty little faces! Like mynah birda...


  11. I think my husband secretly encourages the bad language since he finds it hilarious. And he's the worst about watching his mouth when the little ones are around, so 99% of their trangressions can be traced back to him.

    Except for one. Yesterday my four year old was watching a Wiggles Christmas DVD and pointed out the "baby" that was being rocked admist various barn animals. I said, "Oh yeah, that's the baby Jesus" (we never go to church so it seemed like a good opportunity to point out that Christmas isn't only about presents). But before I could come up with anything further, he looked at me with recognition and said, "Jesus Christ!" For a split second I was like, "hey - that's right, where did you...?" But then quickly realized exactly where he heard that...

  12. That elf looks how I feel after finishing my retail shifts these past two days! Rest assured, mighty shoppers, I kept that feeling on the inside and was super smiley and helpful on the outside! I want to cut that photo out and make stick puppets of him and act out all the curse words that are probably coursing through his mind!

  13. Nothing's funnier than a toddler who uses expletives! And if you laugh, you're done for! He'll never stop!

  14. Oh too funny!! The things that come out of my kids' mouths are shocking sometimes.

  15. How could you not laugh at that elf?

  16. That elf sure does look like he'd rather be anywhere else... And I'd have been giggling right along with you! :)

    Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas! :)

  17. Did I miss the post about your long wait at Heathrow? I was following you on Twitter that night and can't wait to hear the whole story!!

  18. Me? I'm wearin' arm warmers :))))) xoxoxoxo


Thoughts appreciated. Advice welcome. Douche-baggery scoffed at then deleted.