Tuesday, December 09, 2008

It's Never Too Late for Thanksgiving: Or, How I learned to Stop Bitching and Love My Toddler

God help me, I am in the midst of a snow day here! There is about 8 inches of snow out there and it is still coming down. The boys are running wild indoors and out and demanding hot chocolate every half hour. Serenity now, serenity now, serenity, now, serenity NOW!

Okay, breathe, dammit! .... .... .... Alright, I can carry on.

I wanted to say a big thank you to Deb and Jay at Dirty Socks and Pizza and HalftimeLessons for featuring my blog their "MISSION: Monday" yesterday! What fun to expose lots of new people to my, um, "twisted" parenting and life style. I didn't say twisted, Jay did. You be the judge. ;-)

So here is the serious part of my post.

I know I like to berate my children and make fun of them, complain about them, yell at them, laugh at them, etc. But I really do love those little guys. And no matter how much of myself I lose to them and their needs, I am profoundly grateful that I have been blessed with them and this life that my husband and I have made for ourselves.

So what happened to make my stop my bitching for a moment to acknowledge this? Belated Thanksgivings, perhaps? No.... The Christmas spirit, you say? No, again....

What made me pause and reassess is the fact that I spent yesterday morning at the hospital with my two-year-old. Yes, the same one that jumped on the buttermilk. You see, the Animal had a lump appear on his neck about three months ago that we have been keeping an eye on and making trips to doctor, then the ENT about. After an eight week observation period, two weeks of antibiotics, and a lot of "palpating" the doctor finally ordered a CAT scan and a needle biopsy of the mass to determine exactly what the heck it is. As any parent would (logically or not), I automatically thought CANCER, but then quietly pushed that into a box and then put that box into another box to keep away from my conscious thoughts. The doctor assured us that it is very common for kids to have enlarged lymph nodes for lots of reasons that are not "bad" or that it could also easily be a cyst that is no big deal. So, we got that news last Tuesday and have had to walk around with it until yesterday morning. I've been watching his every move trying to read into everything he does or doesn't do.... is it a sign of something deeper, something really being wrong with him?? A terrible place to be in your mind and not a place I want to visit again any time soon.

The good news is that the biopsy and scan went well and that, by all accounts, the mass is just a calcified lymph node! Phew. It turns out that if your body has an infection that causes a lymph node to get enlarged, and stay enlarged long enough, scar tissue can form in the node making it stay that enlarged size. The body will reabsorb it over time, but he could have the lump for years. They still did a biopsy to make sure that it wasn't an infection like TB or toxoplasmosis or a fungus that caused it to swell. We should get those tests back today or tomorrow, but they seem pretty inconsequential after even the tiniest possibility of it being something much, much worse.

So, despite the buttermilk, the pushing, the spitting, the shouting, and all the other things that little fella does to make me crazy....I just want to scoop him up and kiss him and hug him and enjoy all the moments in the day that I am blessed with being his mommy. And that, despite the issues we may have, I've got a pretty rockin' family.


  1. What a beautiful pic of the animal and the ornament. Not a word exists to express the amount of relief, I'm sure. Love your rockin' photo. Snnnnoooowwww dayyysss suck. Thank goodness for neighbors. We had a big play date this morning and plan for another in the pm.

  2. I'm glad that all turned out well!

  3. Hi there! Visiting from BPOTW. Love your blog; you're quite the Scribbler! Listen, I'm up for a Pretty Neat blogging award, and I made the final cut. Yup, I'm campaigning for votes...please come by and check it out if you have a chance!

  4. Great post and thank God everything looks cool with your little guy. It's so weird how our brain automatically goes to the worst case scenario.

    I love your serenity now chant - I need to do that every friggin' day...and I. Don't.

    Love your blog.

  5. whew! Huge relief, huh?

    So happy for you and your family...
    I know what you mean, nothing says "i love you" like stinky sox, bodily fluids and damaged ear drums!!!

  6. Oh wow, that whole post gave me the chills, I'm so glad it isn't anything serious! Wow, really makes you stop and think. I need to do that more!

  7. Omg... are you guys doing a Wii concert? That is so cool! When I saw Wii could do that I totally got on board about getting one.

    I think snow days rock. You must live near my parents, they got totally hammered with snow. We're getting it here tomorrow. Woo hoo! But I don't think they do snow days here. Not sure. Maybe we'll find out.

    Glad your punk is ok.
    I lost mine once and that whacked the brick of perspective across my head. Ugh. Be glad to those insane moments. Little monstrous punks.

  8. Oh Amy, darling...there is a little something over at my blog for you...with bulletholes! :)

  9. Wow. Glad that turned out well!

    You took everything better than I would have.

    Freeaking. I would have been freeeaaaaking.

  10. Amy my lovely...You know what I think about your hospital journey...I love the photo, I love your post, and I wanna know what's wrong with snow days? I look for any excuse NOT to leave the house :)))
    oh wait...kids...

  11. I know what you were going through...my oldest daughter had (still does actually) lump on her ankle from the time she was born, we went through MRI's, biopsy's you name it and come to find out it was a calcified mass as well. I'm glad that your son is alright! And I love the way that you write...very good post!

  12. Boy I'm glad this story had a happy ending. I won't bore you with the life story of my children and various hospital visits and scares... Suffice to say, I truly sympathize with the emotional roller coaster you were on. Truly happy all is well.

  13. I'm so happy it all turned out okay. We all joke, complain and bitch but bottom line is they are a piece of us and they are the most precious of all the things in our lives. Big sigh of relief here for you.


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