Keely is visiting some town somewhere or lying around her house watching the Canada-America hockey match over and over while destroying all progress she has made recently at the gym or just taking a much-deserved and needed day off... I can't be sure which, but she has entrusted RTT with me today. (Apparently, everyone else was "washing their hair," so I was the only one available.... Nice one, people. I feel like the guy who stood still while everyone else took one giant step back.)
You know the drill, Random Tuesday Thoughts is a way to get some of the bits and bots (random English phrase for stuff) of the week out in a post. Kind of like mini-blog-posts or bigger-twitter-tweets. Your choice!
That's enough 'splainin, let's get to it!
Oh. My. Stars. Pamela Anderson is set to compete in the new season of Dancing With the Stars.... This is one reality show (along with The Batchelor) that I have never had a desire to watch. Until ten minutes ago when I read that Pammy was going to be on. Her breasts are worth their weight in gold and the producers know it.
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I just found this excellent list of stereotypes of people by who their favorite author is. Go look for yours. Don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back. This Lauren Leto is genius! I laughed smugly and then cringed when I saw some of my faves and it turned up these descriptions:
J.K. Rowling**********
Smart geeks. You can hear the smug 'heheheh,' right?
Jeffrey Eugenides
Girls who didn’t get enough drama when they were younger. Yeah, maybe, ...but I worked hard to create it when it was lacking.
David Foster Wallace
Confirmed 90’s literati. Check! (See that? MORE smugness! It's an ugly trait, I know.)
Stephen King
11th graders who peed their pants while watching the movie It. I think maybe "Ran for their mommies while watching" might be more accurate. Ahem.
John Irving
People whose parents are divorced. Couldn't be further from the truth. (However, see 'Girls who didn't get enough drama' above.)
Jane Austen (or Brontë sisters)
Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”. Those files have been sealed. Move along, perverts.
Following are a collection of quotes that have been overheard recently escaping Destructo's lips:
"Why are those army ships flying hither and yon over there?" in reference to the helicopters that kept flying over.
"Do you remember the good times, Dad? When we were driving to swimming and you took all those hard turns?" in reference to a time, almost a year ago, when 007 was running late and driving too fast to get to swimming on time. Yes, we had a 'chat' about that.
While driving somewhere, the Animal woke up in the seat next to Destructo and he said with a hug "Oh, Animal, I love you." The Animal responded with a shrug "Get off me."
And my favorite quote, perhaps of all-time: Mom, cakes are show-offs but ice cream isn't. Ice cream works hard to come up with new flavors so people will buy it. Cakes are always the same flavors and people buy them just because they look so good!
I am 100% positive that he told me that while not lobbying for an ice cream cone.
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Through forces that I cannot control, my children's ultimate gross-you-out taunt involves having to eat "buttered mushrooms." I made them for the first time ever the other night to prove to them that they are not the grossest thing in the world to eat (of course, the only way in hell you will see them going down my gullet is social obligation/nicety, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with why the boys feel the way they do), but they all just screamed and made gagging noises when presented with the dish. Daddy-007 feasted on the rare treat while the boys decided aloud that they would rather eat dead worms, slea slug guts, and poop than buttered mushroom. Poop?!? Sheesh.... even I don't think mushrooms are that bad.
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Now it's your turn! Grab a button and link up your post below so we can all check out your brand of crazy.
Just so you know...
ReplyDeleteJane Austen (or Bronte Sisters)
Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.
They didn't have David Sedaris on the list.