Monday, November 02, 2009

Rehearsals: Quiet on the set, please!

Did I mention that I am going to be in a play?

Oh! I didn't?!

(Well, that doesn't sound like me!) No, I must've mentioned it, at least in passing....

Oh, yeah, that's right!! I did. I even posted a ludicrous video of me practicing the song! I remember now.


Well, I got the part! Rehearsals have been underway for the last month and we've been spending the time learning all the songs that are going to be part of the big group finale, as well as going over the staging for the opening song that everyone will be in. I've been practicing my song, singing in the house, the car, and the fields and running my lines with the ever-obliging Daddy-007.

Last Thursday I finally got a chance to practice my solo song with the pianist! I had been telling my new friends about what terrible stage fright I get and how nervous I am about singing in front of everyone and that I hope I do okay, blah blah blah... Because, honestly, the last time I performed in a play was in high school and I was positively racked with stage fright. Diarrhea, trembling, shaky voice; the whole bit! I also said that my love of karaoke (whilst being perceived as a slightly pathetic past-time, usually reserved for miserable creatures with bad voices and delusions of grandeur), had done wonders for boosting my confidence singing in front of people. Anyway, the director called for a break and then asked if I wanted to run through my number while most of the people were out of the room. I thanked her for the consideration and went over to the piano with her (the director) and her husband who co-wrote the play and who is a musical-type (i.e. he was the fiddler in last year's production of Fiddler on the Roof). The piano started and I just launched into the song with gusto and pretty fairly nailed it. The pianist even added a repeat to the last chorus so I could do one those fabulous, American Idol-type crescendo bits to the ending line of "My looo-ooooooove von't vait!!!!!!!" (Remember that I am singing It's Now or Never), in the character of a former WWII-era, Polish-Russian, French-Cabaret stripper now-married to the vicar of the wee village that the murder mystery is set in. ;)

I was giddy, enjoying my little moment in the spotlight. But then immediately uncomfortable.

I realized that I must've just come off as the biggest fraud in the world! Where was the stage fright?? Where were my nerves??? (None here, I think they all got scared off by that high note....)

So, that leaves, ...what? False modesty?


So, now I am either 1.) Totally deluded and really stank up the entire number and none of my friends are saying anything because they are protecting my feelings, or 2.) They are like, "What has she been going on about? F**king primadonna.", or 3.) I really am insecure and needy and want the praise that isn't being given to me by them because they all think that I obviously know I have a nice voice and why should they feed my ego by saying anything about it.

And so the spiral of self-doubt and over-analyzing begins.

I'm sure that it is nothing, but won't our minds overwork a scenario when left with nothing else to worry about? Seriously, I need the internet to keep my mind off this kind of stuff!!


I'll just have to continue walking that fine line of keeping up the blog for my sanity while limiting my on-line time while the kids are home and away for my sanity.

One more thing: I swear I'm not drunk, but I love you guys! I really appreciated the supportive comments and good ideas for how to keep myself away from the distractions that all your amazing blogs provide. Now, if I could just ween myself off twitter.... (Pshaaaaw! Right. Never!!!)

p.s. In spite of my love for you, I am also going to admonish you for not informing me of Oprah's Karaoke Challenge that I somehow missed! Tragedy!! I coulda been a contendah....!!!

p.p.s. Did someone say delusional?


  1. I'm tickled for you, super impressed. I wish I had the nerve to do something like that! Of course my pesky lack of talent always get in the way. Zero musical ability.
    Except on Wii Rock band.

  2. You are the best kind of honest. So funny and true to yourself.
    Congratulations on getting the part. I'm sure you sounded great and everyone figures you know that. Yes, I'm going with that one.

  3. Not false modesty! You've simply evolved--how can that be a bad thing??

    I, for one, am thrilled your vocal talents will now be recognized on TWO continents.

  4. I respect and admire you for your entry into theatre. You will do very well, your personality insures it!


  5. Sounds like fabulous, break-a-leg fun! P.S. Remember us when you get to Hollywood! LOL!

  6. Dearest Amy, Do you think you have the type of readers who keep up with Oprah?!?!!? Consider that a compliment!

  7. Best part of living in new place is that no know really knows who you are and you can choose to be
    1, 2 or 3 or all of the above.

  8. You are a brave girl! Good luck or break a leg!

  9. I'd buy a ticket to that. And I'm going to be singing "my love von't vait" for the rest of the day. That's truly sad for those around me

  10. Congrats on winning the part. I tend to find people tell you if you suck so I am confident you don't.
    Kate x

  11. That's awesome - I bet you seriously did nail it, too. Nice job!

  12. hhhhmmmmm........xp

  13. Ah the 'ol theatre days...sigh...for god's sake, LIVE IN THE MOMENT, be zee star!!...nevahumind what all the little people say :p oh, and have fun at the cast party, but make sure to post lots of twitter pics! I won't even pollute the blogosphere w/the pathetic theatre-like aspirations our local village gets funding for...woh is moi :)

  14. Being nervous doesn't necessarily mean you are worried you'll sound bad. I have a great singing voice, but I am still very nervous singing in front of people. So, I'm starting out in the chorus of The Holly and The Ivy, and I'm in the midst of putting together a Victorian costume.

  15. It doesn't matter what they thought, because your fabulousity is irrepressible.

    But once you've won them all over, you can get an honest answer out of them and have a good laugh about it.

    Why am I hearing this comment in a british accent?

    Ta Ta!

  16. This is the easiest way to rid yourself of stage fright. Right before you go on, take 3 HUGE deep breaths. That calms the nerves and makes it easy to go on in front of an audience. Before I became a standup, I was an actor and I used the trick all the time. IT ALWAYS WORKS.

    I still use it if a comedy audience is larger than a 1000 people. You can do it!!!

    And break a leg.

  17. I LOVE it!
    The stage!
    Have fun!

  18. I bet you're great. I've always wished I could sing. I do sing a lot ... I love to sing. I just have to wear ear plugs in my own ears when I do! : )

  19. that is fantastic! I am sure you will be smashing. Now go break a leg!


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Thoughts appreciated. Advice welcome. Douche-baggery scoffed at then deleted.