Some bad old habits of mine are starting to resurface. Ones that were curbed temporarily by necessity and happenstance, not because of any conscious effort put forth on my part, mind you. I speak, of course, about spending too much time on-line. It is an addiction/compulsion that many of us share. You wouldn’t be here reading this blog right now if you didn’t have an issue with it, too, am I right?
It took over a month to get our internet access up and running when we first moved here. A painful, long month of trying to figure out how the heck we were going to get information every single time we needed an address, a number, a destination, directions, everything! I would keep lists of the things I needed to look up and then check them off dutifully one-by-one each time I managed a trip into town to the library or a café with wi-fi. I was upset that my blog had to go pretty much on hiatus, I lost momentum with my writing, stalled out growth of the site, and lost touch with friends that I wanted to keep informed of the minutia of our transition to English living.
Even while I complained copiously about not having access to all of this at home, though, I knew that it was for the best. I knew in my heart that the kids needed me to be present during this time. They needed all of mommy’s attention, not just the 10% that isn’t focused on daddy, dinner, housework, twitter, and blogging. And that is (sadly) NOT listed in order of importance to me.
Not having internet access for four weeks was one of the best things that could’ve happened to our family.
No wi-fi for the parents + no screen-time for the kids = a happy, connected family.
Total no-brainer, right?
So, if it is a total no-brainer, then why is it so eff-ing hard to pull myself away from the computer again? I love this blog; I love the feedback to posts, I love the game of it, I love the possibilities, I love the people I’ve met…. But aren’t the people that I love right here in my house more important? I like to think that I always put my family first… well,… that I would put my family first, anyway,… if I needed to. But the truth of the matter is that I can be incredibly selfish and I push my kids and husband away when I am busy writing or editing photos. And that really stinks. Especially because I have time during the day, when all three of the kids & Daddy-007 are at school, to get this work done.
I am going to spend the rest of half-term break (the kids are back in school on Monday) re-aligning my priorities and figuring out a system of internet use that will get me back on track. I’m afraid I’m going to have to make a little ADHD chart, like the ones I used to make for Destructo, for myself that outlines when I can use the ‘net and when I can’t. I know I can make it work, but I need a little space to think about it, scheme up a program for myself, write it down, then put it into practice. The proclivities of the ADD mind make it a lot harder than it sounds, so cut me some slack, okay?
Note: If I resort to using ‘internet time’ as a reward for good behavior, you will know that I have gone totally insane. Please send help!