Thursday, August 06, 2009

Dr. Strangeblog: Or How I Learned to Stop Trying to Be What I'm Not and Just Write.

I've been a little down this week and it has apparently shut down my brain and left me with this hideous writer's block.

Also, I think in the aftermath of BlogHer, I was expecting to do something.... I don't know.... different with my blog. I went to too many panels that filled my head with ambitions to be a humor blogger, when I can't be anything but a life blogger. I can't write about things that are serious to me in a humorous way unless I feel like it.
I can't joke about the fact that I am upset that my husband flew out O'Hare 26 hours ago and still hasn't called or emailed.
I'm just not built that way.

What I can joke about is this:

And the fact that Destructo here turned to me the other day and said, "Hey, Mom, you need to go buy a crowbar." I said, "Why's that?" He said, "You'll need one to kill the zombies."

Of course I will, young Paduwan, of course I will....

I can also laugh about this:

This little rascal has just been killing me this week with his natural born tendency to get into everything that he isn't supposed to, irritate his brothers endlessly, spill every glass of milk and juice in his vicinity, say no to everything including ice cream sundaes, and push everyone's buttons for the sheer thrill of hearing us all scream.

I am trying to decide which of these shirts to buy for him to commemorate his toddlerhood:

This one:Or this one:
Guess what? I'm leaning toward the latter. Fuckin' gremlins.

But I still can't laugh about the fact that my husband still hasn't called from England. It is now almost 6 am there and he has been gone for 28 hours. He has a laptop that he could've emailed me with. And money to go buy a phone. Our sea container is due to arrive at the house in three hours and 15 minutes and we will find out if our stuff made it through the move in one piece or many. It is killing me that he hasn't called. I am dying of curiousity and want to know how our first baby steps as citizens of the United Kingdom went!

I will be on twitter tomorrow, where I will be actively seeking solace and help getting off the ledge. Wish me luck.

And here is one more thing I can laugh at. Heartily. :) The photographer kept saying to Ann and I on the red-carpet at the BowlHer event at BlogHer, "C'mon, more attitude! You've got more attitude than that! C'mon!" I came up with this attitude and Ann came up with.... Little Orphan Annie? My Fair Lady? God I love that woman! ;-)

And another thing I want to cry about: Please send prayers to Maggie and her extended family, they are in need of some positive energy to propel them through a tough time.

Thank you.


UPDATE: I finally heard from my husband at 7:30 this morning. Apologies were offered and excuses of jetlag, craziness getting through Heathrow, finding the bus to the train station, then the train, then renting the car to get to the house and 14 hours of sleep are the reason for no call. That and our house is sitting in an impenetrable cellular dead zone. Grrr.


  1. Breathe.....he will call! I'm sure he is so busy and figured he didn't want to bother you! Blame it on the jetlag!

  2. He can't email unless he's got an internet connection over there,'s not like going to another state, he's possibly as upsidedown as you are, don't worry...

    That photo is priceless :))) xoxoxoxo

  3. I say get him both shirts so it can serve as a warning to others. Kind of a PSA if you will.
    He'll call and tell you how awesome everything is and you will be angry with him for different reasons. It will all work out.

  4. Giving you reassuring and soothing pats on the back and gentle hand holding. He'll be in touch soon.

  5. Glad you heard from hubby!

    Love the picture of you and Ann. And that's what you get when you hang out with recovering actors!

  6. SO glad he called!!

    Did he actually tell you he got "14" hours of sleep? He does remember that you're at home with the boys, right?

    I believe the whole situation is grounds for divorce.

  7. Dude, I'm with ya. Blog about what you feel like blogging. Once it's forced, it's fake and soo many people can see that!

    I love you and think you and Ann are both freakin' adorable.

    At least cuter than the Gremlins.

    Hee hee.

    Is that enough to get you off the ledge?

  8. I'm so glad you heard from your husband.

    Now. About this ice cream sundae situation. Who says no to an ice cream sundae? I think you have a bit of a problem here.

  9. i know what you mean about getting inspired or motivated or whatever at blogher and then coming home to real life and the words come out just the same as they always did... but the good news is you are pretty darn awesome just the way you are... pink boa and attitude and all.

  10. Oh, thank you for making my life so much more bearable. Of course that is only because as you get closer to the edge it makes me feel so much better. Aren't I awful? Seriously, though, how can expect to be a blogging genius when you are a single mum and getting ready to leave one life for another? Just give it time. I can't wait for your first posts from the UK.

  11. cute gremlin on the front, evil gremlin on the back, as a reminder.

  12. See, I told you it was jet lag. And if you're going to get him the good Gremlin, please don't get him that girl shirt.

  13. Gremlin's for sure.... Love the pink Boa look. NICE

    All will be well my friend. Hang in there.

  14. oooooooooh, is your husband gonna get it, when he calls. He's SO grounded!

    Try to distract yourself, preferably not with an injury that requires a trip to the emergency room because while temporarily dramatic, you could wind up stuck sitting in the ER with no internet access and THEN you'd really be bored with nothing to do but think about how your husband hasn't called.

    OMG - I love that picture of you and Ann!

  15. I just noticed the update - Duhhhh! And I was going to follow up with another comment to correct my earlier comment which is now mostly not applicable, but then I decided to forget it because I put so much thought and effort into the first one, so if you'll excuse me, I've got other things to do now.

    Also? Glad the worry is over.

  16. I agree with whomever said you should put both on the shirt. I alway say that my kids look like the mogwai, but they end up being gremlins in the end. The two two year olds are driving me crazy now that I'm home with them full time.

    Glad to hear that your husband finally called. And I'm sure that he's glad that you are separated by an ocean right now.

  17. Gosh you two look soo Abba-licious..

    Waa, waa, waa, waa, Waterloo..

    And you have a good thing going with your blog...take what you need from those seminars but don't change to become something that you are not. You'll soon find blogging ( something you enjoy) extremely frustrating..and do you really need more of that crap in your life?

    Can I get a Hell to the no?

    Peace - Rene

  18. I just love you. I love this post. And guess what?

    It's fucking hilarious.


    And my hills are OBVIOUSLY alive with the sound of music. ;)

  19. I think the whole UK may be a dead zone. . . my daughter only calls when she needs something. . .

  20. I give you credit for not shooting him for not calling. You're so much nicer than I am.

  21. I give you so much credit for not shooting him for not calling. Glad he's OK but 14 hours? You're a saint.

    Oh and your kids? Adorable.

  22. Sigh. I hate when my husband travels and can't call-- glad everything is ok!!

    And I thought I'd be spewing out blog posts after Blogher, but I'm more stumped than ever. What's up with that?!

  23. Gee, my husband does that every time he travels to it sad that I'm used to not getting a call or e:mail for a couple of days?

    I also hoped to be inspired by BlogHer but I remain exhausted LOL!

    Good luck with the move, and it was very nice to meet you in Chicago! I look forward to reading about you settling in the UK!

  24. Hah, that Gremlins shirt made me laugh. Used to say that my daughter needed one of those. Love her, but man could she/can she get into trouble.

  25. Yay he called!

    I was all pumped up about humor blogging as far...I'm not so funny:P For now, I'm keeping my day job!

  26. hahahahahahahahahaha! That last photo, Amy!!! hahahahaaha!

    I don't think that people should do a blog and then try to keep up with it. There are better things to do in the world.

    Rather, people should have a blog that can hardly keep up with them.


  27. When I don't hear from someone, I go from calm to insane in about 2 minutes. Glad he finally called.

  28. I love that last picture, I'm so glad he called and I think your blog is perfect just the way it is.

  29. Ha! Love the tshirts! That's exactly how my youngest got his secret blog code name. I gave it to him in utero because he was a little devil even then and it just stuck!


Thoughts appreciated. Advice welcome. Douche-baggery scoffed at then deleted.