Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday: Awkward Segue to an Award

Let's talk about swearing in blog land for a moment, shall we? I'm feeling a little awkward about how much, when to do it, when not to, etc. I usually opt for the softer "eff-ing," you guys know what I'm really saying, but I don't have to lay the actual f-bomb out there.

Other times, I just let it fall.... usually when I am so fucking fed up with something or someone that I want to fucking scream. So, I guess I like to savor it a little and just drop it in when I really mean it. But then I usually pause, anyway, and look it over again. And then change it back to "eff-ing" and then when I'm done writing the post I go back and change it back to "fucking."

Does anyone else waste time on this issue??? Or am I the only eff-ing idiot who gives a flying fuck?

The reason I am thinking about this is because the truly tasty Sassy Britches tagged me for an award.... you've seen it before.... and I've seen some people actually NOT put it on their site for fear of offending.... and others have proudly displayed it (letting their fuck flag fly?)... it is the:
Now, Sassy Britches put together a really clever meme for this that I can't even hope to follow up. Please go look at her pictures from this because her eye-crossing-thing is, pardon the expression, fucking hilarious! I am too intimidated and currently over-worked to put together something as clever as her whilst simultaneously too eager to post my award (hello, awkward! greedy much??) to wait any longer. ;-)

I think a shout out to the delightful Bella, That Damn Expat is in order, as well.... she is the one who graced Laura at My Thoughts - Uninterrupted, who in turn gave it to Sassy. :) If you're not reading these two ladies, then hightail yourself over there now to check them out! And, of course, thank you to Tovah Darling for hosting the fab Totally Awkward Tuesday! (Why more people aren't getting into this Mr. Linky that she hosts is a mystery to me!!)

Wait, I never said THANK YOU to Sassy for honoring me with this award!!! THANK YOU, SASSY BRITCHES!!!!!! (Now THAT was fucking awkward!)

Now stop fucking around and make a comment on whether or not you want to hear the fucking truth about the f-bomb or if you like pussy-footing around the actual swear words. ;-)


  1. I swear, I was going to post about this issue tomorrow. How did you know?
    I do use the f-word a lot, but only in blogland. I don't curse around my kids. Ever.

    Congrats on your award!

  2. I fucking love the f bomb!
    you effing rock, girl!!

  3. I'm the opposite. I curse around the kids, but in blogland, I'm all about frickin' and flippin' and f-ing.

    Congrats on your frackin' award.

  4. I usually pussy-foot around the f-bomb, but I'm always so jealous of people who can pull it off with aplomb!

    I am pretty okay with most of the other "curse" words though, and bust them out as needed.

    (I'd be remiss if I didn't let you know I received the award from Laura at My Thoughts-Uninterrupted, and SHE received it from Bella @ That Damn Expat. I didn't want it to look like I'm ungrateful)!

    So, yes, drop that f-bomb in the way that only you can! I'm not offended!

  5. The f-bomb not really but I use A@# sometimes on my blog. Am I a prude? Just the other day I wrote B@#$%! I so rock!

    Hugs and Mocha,

  6. Congrats! Off to check out the clever Meme.

  7. LOL! Great minds think alike. I have a post up today about the casual use of Suck - I despise it.

    Creatively using Fuck however, like you have certainly done, I completely adore!


  8. Marinka: I try to not swear in front of the kids. Last night I got fed up with my 9 y.o., though, and told him to get his "ass off the couch" and up to his room for homework. It had the desired effect and he scurried off more quickly than I've ever seen him go!

    Kel: No, YOU effing rock! No, YOU!

    Fantasy Life: I guess that's why you prefer the Fantasy Life? ;-)

    Sassy: Awkward! I'll fix that later. (And I think you could drop the f-bomb just fine!)

    Stesha: I'll take a double shot with my mocha. And call bullsh*t on your being a prude! ;-)

  9. I never said fuck until I had kids.

  10. I think I would get the shakes if I couldn't use the word "fuck" regularly.

  11. Hate to admit it, but I'm a pussy-footer on most occasions. I can see I'm in the minority!

  12. Thanks for the (misguided) shoutout!

    So, I guess you know my position on the f word.

    Actually, I'm like you. I don't use it unless I really need to. As in, when I'm truly pissed off or happy.

  13. I personally don't get offended by it and usually find myself laughing out loud at it, but I know that some people do get offended by it. I have the same dilemna as you. I never know if it's appropriate or not! I don't mind using any of the other cuss words, it's just the f bomb! I only use it once in awhile.

  14. Oh the queen mother of all swear words. You will be fucking used to the Queen Mother very soon my dear. Loved this. I got my love for hot sauce from so many " I will wash your mouth out with hot sauce if you use that word again." It just says it all. Some of the many uses:
    Greetings "How the fuck are you?"
    Fraud "I was fucked by the McDonalds Drive Through."
    Dismay "Oh, fuck it."
    Trouble "Well, I guess I'm fucked again."
    Aggression "Fuck you!!!"
    Disgust "Fuck me!!!"
    Confusion, Curiosity or Disbelief "What the fuck....?"
    Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking thing."
    Despair "Fucked again."
    Good Job "Congratufuckinglations."
    Desperation "Fuckityfuckfuckfuck."
    Incompetence "He fucks up everything."
    Intelligence "He's a fucking genius."
    Dismissal "Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?"
    Displeasure "What the fuck is going on?"
    Lost "Where the fuck are we?"
    Disbelief "Unbefuckinglievable!!!"
    Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!!!"
    Laziness "He's just a fuck-off."
    Pain "Fuck ! that hurt."
    Pleasure "Oooooooh Fuuuuuuck"
    Love "Do ya Fuck on first dates?"
    Starting a relationship "Let's fuck now!"
    Surprise "Fucking hell what was that?"
    Admiration "Nice fucking tits!"
    Stupid person "Dumbfuck!"
    Hate "You Fuck!"
    Condemnation "Fuck that shit!"
    Disappointment "That's not fucking fair."
    A poker hand "A Royal Fuck."
    Ignorant person "Fuckstick."
    Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
    Apathy "Who gives a fuck" or "I don't give a fuck".
    Confusion "What the fuck just happened?"
    Resignation "Oh fuck it."
    Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
    Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here!"
    Sex "Let's fuck."
    Ambiguity "I'm not so fucking sure."
    Agreement "Absofuckinglutely."
    Questioning Authority "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
    Hypocrisy "Don't you dare fucking swear at me you fucking fucker."
    Praising the Lord "Jesus Fucking Christ."
    I have a headache "Go fuck yourself."
    Refusal "Oh you can fuck right off."
    Be quiet "Shut the fuck up."
    You're right "Fucking oath." (Australianism)
    Ostentation "He's just bought a big, fuck-off Mercedes."
    Sensuousness "She was wearing a pair of red leather, fuck-me boots."
    Confidence "Fuckin' A."
    Rage "Motherfucking fuckers!"
    Impressed "That was fucking amazing."
    Oral sex after 30 years of marriage "Fuck you!" (while passing each other in the hall)
    Bewilderment or Ignorance "Fucked if I know."
    Annoyance "For fuck's sake."
    Pissed off "Fuck you, you fucking fuck."
    Tardiness "It's ten-fucking-thirty already?"
    Calling someone "Oy, fuck face!"
    Minors "Fucklings."
    Morons "Fucktards."
    Thanks "Fuck you very much."

  15. Rants: Did I lie? She's so clever with those Sassy Britches Tricks. :)

    EM: A well placed "Fuuuuuuuuuuck." certainly has its merits! I'll make it over to get the 411 on "suck" later. I say it all the time but get on kids' case if they say it. Gotta break that habit! (Of saying it, not being all over my kids' shit.)

    Joanie: Seriously LMAO. You are such a fuckin' doll!

  16. My Granny reads my blog, otherwise I would let the F-bombs fly.

  17. F-bombs don't bother me. Let them Fly

  18. Mwaaaaah! That's a big fucking smooch for you!

  19. You are going to love England! In general, the f-bomb is dropped quite liberally.

    I have to admit that I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to cussing, but I don't mind at all if others do it. (I actually had a commenter write an email and apologize for writing fuck in her comments, although it was done tastefully and humorously of course.)

    The new blog design is so fetching! Your inner Amy?

  20. I am generally a fan of the word but I have REALLY scaled back now that I'm a mama. I have totally struggled with this on my blog and generally I always end up erasing it if I use it. I'll say friggin' or freakin' or effing but I've never written the actual word 'fuck' on my blog. But there will come a time I'm sure....when it's simply unavoidable.

    I like it when people use it judiciously - too much of it and it loses it's effectiveness. At least for me.

    Nice effing post Amy!

  21. Ryan: I just got back from your site and see why! ;-)

    carma: I don't think you are! I think it might just be a skewed audience around here.... ;^)

    Bella: I like that it retains its shock value when one uses it judiciously. :)

    Nicole: I try and follow this policy: Would my mom be embarrassed for me if she read this. (Really, that policy only applies to the f-bomb. And I sincerely hope she does not read my blog regularly.)

    Tony: LMAO! My favorite one on the whole list is "Fuck me!" and that it is linked to disgust. Thank you for clarifying the many creative ways to use this most useful of words!

    I would like to add my favorite other use, made famous by Amy Winehouse in her song "Mr. Jones" :

    Sexual Misconduct/cheating: Fuckery

    Kat: Reason #1 to NOT use it! :)

    Up Rooted: All systems go!

    Sassy: No fuckery allowed for me....keep your kisses to yourself. ;-)

    Bee: Yes, the new design definitely shows my inner Amy (the old one was more my "retired, out of it, too lazy to make a better one" Amy). :) And, all the Brits I've known knew their way around swear words like seasoned professionals. I will be in great company!

    AND: I'm so glad you're not offended; I hardly think it makes you a wuss for not using it, though. More like a strident hold out, IMHO.

    Lee: You and I seem to share a lot of the same class-issues. ;-) I've always pushed the boundaries a bit, so it is logical that I would do it in Blog-land, too, I guess! Once you do it once, though, watch out for the slippery slope!! ;)

  22. I'm usually a wuss about it while blogging, and use various bleep characters. I probably wouldn't care about, say, my parents reading it -- I've reached the age where I can tell them dirty jokes without blushing -- but my excuse for hesitation is my OTHER blog, which is about church and mission stuff, and hapless souls who might stumble from one vnue to the other and get blindsided.
    One of my friends consistenly expresses the idea "WTF" or "I'll be damned" with "Fuck a duck!" Sounds almost wholesome.

  23. I don't ever feel comfortable letting the word fly in my conversation, so I don't use it when I write. . . I feel guilty saying "freaking". . .

    Oh, and one time I went back in a post the next day and changed "Holy Crap" to "Holy Smokes."

    I know. . . I'm pitiful!!!

  24. I love the word fuck.
    It's the only word I can think of that can be used as every part of speech.
    Verb: they fucked
    adjective: fucking bridge!
    adverb: running all fucked-up
    noun: that fucker
    so...it would just be a fucking shame not to celebrate such a useful word.
    That being said, I don't usually use it on my blog...I am so fucking afraid of one of my students finding my fucking blog that I keep my fucking "mouth" clean on my own fucking blog. But on yours - I can drop it all I fucking want!!
    So have a great fucking evening!!

  25. I have forever been one of those people who just gets laughed at when she swears. It just doesn't sound right in my voice or something. So that tends to carry over to blog-land, wher I'm somehow secretly convinced that I'll be really mad and let the F-bomb slip, and someone will be like "Haha! Tova just cussed!" and I'll look silly.

  26. I appreciate the well-place swear word, or two, or ninety. Nothing wrong with it. ;)

  27. I never want to be so uptight that I won't use a word that I actually do use in my real life ... but I'm not going to use it all the time. I mean, I don't think any young children are reading my blog. I can't imagine why they would.

    So I think wise usage of the F word totally fucking works.

    And I think you need to reprint Tony's comment!

  28. JenTheRat: WTF is pretty wild, when you consider that the super-tame people just say WTH (hell). But I can understand why you'd want to spare the church-goers your potty mouth! Eff-ing religion makes people crazy! ;^)

    LizSpin: That is, quite possibly, the cutest thing I have ever heard. I want a hug and to squeeze your cute little cheeks immediately!
    (Because now I am always going to imagine you as looking like Shirley Temple!)

    sAm: For goodness sakes', woman, I need to take a shower after that! ;)

    Tova Darling: I am impossibly intrigued by your comment. Do you sound like Jennifer Tilly??

    DocElectron: Don't worry, I'll keep 'em coming! (And thanks for the nice MIL comments on yesterday's post. :)

    Jenners: You are absolutely correct. Tony will get special props tomorrow when I reprint the list for all to peruse. :))

  29. If my Nano found the effer on my blog, she'd call my mother, who would call me and give me hell for making her talk to her mother. Yes, I am an adult, in case you thought maybe not. :)

    And REALLY why aren't more people participating in Tova's Awkwardness? It's fabulous! They're all just wussies.

  30. Ryan: Another person whose grandma reads their blog?! You guys must have very supportive, non-serious families. Except where the swearing is concerned. Then they are just like every other one. ;)

    And YES, why aren't more of you participating in Tova's TAT?????

    There's always next week, people!! :)

  31. That's an effin awesome award.

    I always shy away from the F word on my blog. But in front of my kids, I just let it fly.

  32. I'm a pussyfooter too - and proud of it!

  33. LOL I fucking love this blog ! To funny !

  34. I'm like a professional curser in real life...on the blog it comes and goes...and if it offends people, well, then they probably won't be hanging out in
    my crowd (real or bloggy) any way :)

  35. Daughter of a sailor, need I say more?


Thoughts appreciated. Advice welcome. Douche-baggery scoffed at then deleted.