Totally Awkward Tuesday: Teen Addition

Way back in November, I posted this generic list of 100 things that I had done or not done yet. It was a Meme and you basically just had to fill in the blanks. So, my FOUR year blogaversary is coming up and I have been thinking about that list and contemplating a new list of 100 things about me to put up in a couple days when it arrives. But I was looking the old list over and realized that I had promised a future post about #75, the one about whether or not I had ever been fired.

You see, I have been fired. Once. BY MY DAD. Yeah, that was awkward.

My chores, growing up, were to feed the calves their bottles and make sure they had fresh hay in their hutches along with water and grain. I did this from the time I was in third or fourth grade (at which point my sister moved from feeding the calves to being in charge of cleaning the kitchen) until I was 16, when I was summarily dismissed for doing a shitty job, which I will sadly admit is the God's honest truth. (Braja, please forgive my former sins toward cows!) I was a terrible mistress to my babies. I was lazy, proud, and, albeit unwittingly at the time, cruel to those poor baby cows that depended on me for all their creature comforts. I'm ashamed to say that I would, on occasion, go out and lolligag about for half an hour and then prance back inside the house and lie through my teeth that I had fed the calves and that all was well. Oh, I was a terrible, terrible teen.

I didn't do it often. Just every once and a while... But that was too much. My mom had come up with creative punishments in the past for my transgressions toward the calves. Most notabley when she locked me in my room for a day with only a cup of milk, two slices of white bread, and a bowl (you know what the bowl was for, right?). Oh, she meant for me to suffer, just like I made those calves suffer. And I did! (Sorry, Mom, to out your punishment, but now that I am a parent, it seems downright enlightened!) I was very sorry and I was good for a long time afterward.

But 16 is a tough year for anyone. And I was having a doozy. I had gotten it into my head that I couldn't wait to blow that joint (figuratively, not literally- lest you wonder about the word choice;). I wasn't going to let any "small town" trap me into thinking I was a small town girl and no small town chores like feeding those stupid calves was good enough for me. So I slacked off and didn't care and was generally just a total bitchy teen about everything.

And then dad fired me.

I remember crying and being very upset about it. I mean, it was pretty humiliating to get fired by your own father. I understood that I had crossed the line, though, and knew I deserved to be dismissed, ...with extreme prejudice. I felt bad for the weekend, but quickly enjoyed my new freedom from the bleating, mooing babies. I began to plot my escape from the farm and ways to start making some real money. The $35/month that I had been making was small potatoes, any way you sliced it, after all.

Being the resourceful girl that I was, and blessed with an overabundance of confidence in my abilities, I applied for two jobs in town. One was for a waitressing job at the truck stop where my best friend worked. The other was for a job at the local golden-oldies radio station... as a disc jockey.

I didn't get the job waitressing....

I landed the job as a DJ!! And, can you imagine (not that it would take much) the glee with which I dropped that little nugget of info when I got home to my parents? Talk about totally awkward.... for my dad. Now, before you get any big ideas on the glamor quotient of the job....

Think less:

And more:

But without CDs... there were only records!

It was an oldies station, people. One of my favorite memories is of an older gentleman that always called me up during my shift to request "Ol' Blue Eyes," my favorite was Chicago and Witchcraft.... I also started a lifelong love affair with that old smoothy Engelbert Humperdinck there. Sigh... ah, to be young but old at heart! I had a glorious time working there for five months and then was laid off when the station was sold and changed formats to country music. Sigh....

No small town radio station could make me love country!!! ;^)