Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday: Teen Addition

Way back in November, I posted this generic list of 100 things that I had done or not done yet. It was a Meme and you basically just had to fill in the blanks. So, my FOUR year blogaversary is coming up and I have been thinking about that list and contemplating a new list of 100 things about me to put up in a couple days when it arrives. But I was looking the old list over and realized that I had promised a future post about #75, the one about whether or not I had ever been fired.

You see, I have been fired. Once. BY MY DAD. Yeah, that was awkward.

My chores, growing up, were to feed the calves their bottles and make sure they had fresh hay in their hutches along with water and grain. I did this from the time I was in third or fourth grade (at which point my sister moved from feeding the calves to being in charge of cleaning the kitchen) until I was 16, when I was summarily dismissed for doing a shitty job, which I will sadly admit is the God's honest truth. (Braja, please forgive my former sins toward cows!) I was a terrible mistress to my babies. I was lazy, proud, and, albeit unwittingly at the time, cruel to those poor baby cows that depended on me for all their creature comforts. I'm ashamed to say that I would, on occasion, go out and lolligag about for half an hour and then prance back inside the house and lie through my teeth that I had fed the calves and that all was well. Oh, I was a terrible, terrible teen.

I didn't do it often. Just every once and a while... But that was too much. My mom had come up with creative punishments in the past for my transgressions toward the calves. Most notabley when she locked me in my room for a day with only a cup of milk, two slices of white bread, and a bowl (you know what the bowl was for, right?). Oh, she meant for me to suffer, just like I made those calves suffer. And I did! (Sorry, Mom, to out your punishment, but now that I am a parent, it seems downright enlightened!) I was very sorry and I was good for a long time afterward.

But 16 is a tough year for anyone. And I was having a doozy. I had gotten it into my head that I couldn't wait to blow that joint (figuratively, not literally- lest you wonder about the word choice;). I wasn't going to let any "small town" trap me into thinking I was a small town girl and no small town chores like feeding those stupid calves was good enough for me. So I slacked off and didn't care and was generally just a total bitchy teen about everything.

And then dad fired me.

I remember crying and being very upset about it. I mean, it was pretty humiliating to get fired by your own father. I understood that I had crossed the line, though, and knew I deserved to be dismissed, ...with extreme prejudice. I felt bad for the weekend, but quickly enjoyed my new freedom from the bleating, mooing babies. I began to plot my escape from the farm and ways to start making some real money. The $35/month that I had been making was small potatoes, any way you sliced it, after all.

Being the resourceful girl that I was, and blessed with an overabundance of confidence in my abilities, I applied for two jobs in town. One was for a waitressing job at the truck stop where my best friend worked. The other was for a job at the local golden-oldies radio station... as a disc jockey.

I didn't get the job waitressing....

I landed the job as a DJ!! And, can you imagine (not that it would take much) the glee with which I dropped that little nugget of info when I got home to my parents? Talk about totally awkward.... for my dad. Now, before you get any big ideas on the glamor quotient of the job....

Think less:

And more:

But without CDs... there were only records!

It was an oldies station, people. One of my favorite memories is of an older gentleman that always called me up during my shift to request "Ol' Blue Eyes," my favorite was Chicago and Witchcraft.... I also started a lifelong love affair with that old smoothy Engelbert Humperdinck there. Sigh... ah, to be young but old at heart! I had a glorious time working there for five months and then was laid off when the station was sold and changed formats to country music. Sigh....

No small town radio station could make me love country!!! ;^)


  1. 4 years! Wow!

    And I was fired from a job once, and promptly told them that I was given no warnings and I would sue them if they did not uphold their end of the contract. They loved to take people to small claims court, so I don't think they wanted to be on the receiving end.

    Turns out, it was a huge miscommunication between the two owners, and my direct supervisor who was doing a horrible job. I was off probation status a month later and told I was the best worker they ever had. :P

  2. Great post, and love the DJ photos. Hilarious contrast.

  3. Well, if you want to take up a few ranch like chores, I have plenty for you!

  4. That is one heck of a story. Thanks for sharing it. How cool is that to get fired by dad and then get a job as a DJ!! Oldies music or not, I'm still impressed. Someday I'll write about my first paying job which was extremely lowly embarrassing!

  5. Kristina: Yeah, it seems hard to believe... Of course, there were only TWO posts in all of 2006, but HEY... it was there!

    Rants: Thanks! I got the giggles when I put up that second photo.... AND IT IS NOT ME (for those -like my husband who thought it was. Sheesh. I don't get no respect around here!

    Shonda: No thanks!

    Carma: Yeah, I thought I was pretty freakin' cool at the time. ;^)

  6. Now I know why Trigger lies to me everytime I ask her if she gave the dog water. . . . EVERYTIME!!!

    Perhaps I should try your mothers' "enlightened" punishment????

  7. Do you have any pictures from when you were a DJ?

    My daughter works for 2 radio stations in Wilmington, DE (an AM station and an FM station). She writes, produces, records and does voice-overs for local commercials. She told me she was on the air a few weeks ago for 2 hours with her friend, who is a DJ and she didn't call me! I'm her biggest fan!

  8. Congratulations on four years of blogging!

    I was ornery at times as a kid, but I would have been riddled with guilt if I'd lied about feeding and watering calves. You're a tough cookie!

    I still think it's cool you were a DJ, even if it was for an oldies station. I've always enjoyed "Ol' Blue Eyes" myself.

  9. okay i am trying to reconcile all of these amy images in my brain from cow girl to crazy oldies DJ to master chicken picatta chef to New Year's party chick to master twitterer back then and now - WOW!

    Great history of you - I love it. And no matter what you say the pic of the first dj is gonna stay in my mind. :-)

  10. What a fabulous story. Did you say it was your 4 year blog anniversary? Wow.

  11. That was safe, girl :) Cute cows... :)

  12. I worked for my dad in his restaurant. He fired me twice--in the same day!

  13. I don't think I could love country, either, despite growing up in Nashville (I do like some of the old stuff). My Dad was a pilot, so I never had a chance to work for him, thanks to the FAA, which is probably a good thing.

    Glad to meet someone else in Madison! It seems there are a lot of good bloggers up there.

  14. Your mother - Wow!

    Couldn't get away with that stuff these days. Even though half the teen population could use it.

    Two days in a room without texting - the horror, the HORROR!!

  15. Amy, I remember when you worked at that radio station! Did that Golden Oldies station also broadcast the MG football games? A DJ is much cooler than grocery store clerk, which was my lot in life during junior year.

    Also, it never crossed my mind NOT to feed the calves when I had that as a chore. The question is, did you ever see if the calves would make suitable horses?

  16. lol...GrandMasterAmy!!!

    Is Braja still speaking to you after your cow confession? :)


Thoughts appreciated. Advice welcome. Douche-baggery scoffed at then deleted.