Holy crow, that was a mouthful! (That's what she said!) First things first: Today is my Four-Year Blogoversary. Wow, You say! Well, not really, "Wow," more like "whoa," as in "whoa, there, Nelly! You got some 'splainin' to do...." Fine. Technically I started this blog four years ago. But here's the fine print:
As you can see, I wasn't an "active" blogger until just recently. But if four years is good enough for Blogger, then it's gotta be enough for everyone else, too. So enjoy the benefits, okay? Because you ARE going to benefit.
At least one of you will! I am going to have a giveaway to celebrate the good times I've had with the blog and with all of you. See, this blog has really done wonders for me. It has saved me thousands in therapy and maybe even saved my family. I needed something that I wasn't getting and this exercise in blogging has provided it in spades. It has given me a "job" that makes me feel needed and gratified, I have obligations now that don't revolve around another person's needs, I have more adult conversations, but I can still walk away to get other things done. The only thing that would make it better is a paycheck, but that I'm happy to do it without one speaks volumes.
To celebrate I am doing two things: I am posting one of those "100 things random things about me" lists. My list is getting exceedingly long, though, so I am just going to subject you to 50 today and then 50 tomorrow (God willing). I am also, on Carma's suggestion (thanks for the great idea, twitterfriend!!), doing a GIVEAWAY tomorrow for a $50 gift card to Sephora. Because, honestly ladies, if YOU don't look good, then I don't look good. And if you're a Bitchin' Wife, then you gotta look your best.
The rules for the giveaway are this: COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT. You will get a chance to win for every comment left on yesterday's, today's and Friday's post. Maximum ONE comment per day. You can earn another spot if you "favorite" my blog with that nifty little technorati button in the left sidebar, too, just leave me note in your comment that you did it.
Questions? Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Now, here's my first 50 Things....
****Please, for the love of God, if you are family: DO NOT READ THE LIST!!!!**** (You'll be glad you didn't!!
1. I’ve always subscribed to the idea that it is worse for people NOT to talk about you behind your back.
2. I was raised Catholic, but converted to the Episcopal Church when I got married. Why? Because my parents wanted me to get married in a church and my husband refused to get married in a Catholic one. (I couldn’t be happier about the switch, though.)
3. My birth certificate name was Ann Mary, but my parents always called me Amy. (“Amy isn’t a saint’s name,” they reasoned.) This has been a huge pain in the arse my entire life… I finally just got rid of the last piece of identification (my expired passport) that had my old name on it. Yipee!
4. I once fell (or got pushed, depending on who’s side you believe) into a 500-gallon tank of milk.
5. I remember telling Terry Collins that he would “go to hell” for his sins, which consisted of being mean and swearing. We were in the second grade and I remember feeling very nervy telling him so.
6. At different times in my life I have wanted to be the President, a nun, a movie director, a rock star, a mom, a grandma, and a paid raconteur.
7. I used to read the dictionary for fun when I was a kid.
8. When I was five, there was a tragic calving on the farm that ended with the vet having to remove the head from one of the fetuses to get it out of the cow. In all my tough little farm girl glory (and in an effort to show my horrified visiting-from-Chicago grandma that it wasn’t so gross), I swaggered up and kicked the decapitated head with my bare foot. Years later, my mom revealed to me that Grandma wanted to bring me back to Chicago with her to raise because I was “turning into an animal.”
9. A few years ago, at a playground, I playfully referred to this adorable little boy that had a GIANT head as “Señor Bighead” only to be informed, very nicely, by the mom that they had just finished all this testing on him that determined he had macrocephaly (okay) and not hydrocephalus (bad). Phew—Even with the happy ending, I had to work on extracting my foot from my mouth for DAYS.
10. I’m a farm girl in reality, but never thought of myself like that. Even when I was little. Now, I am reconsidering.
11. I want to be spiritual…. But I don’t know how.
12. Bourbon is my drink of choice, preferably with diet Coke and a cherry.
13. If I drink any amount of alcohol and then smoke out, I will throw up. Like within 20 minutes. I figured this out in high school and have never been a fan since.
14. I hate shoe shopping.
15. I wear a size 10 and a half shoe. *sigh*
16. I love to host dinners & parties. Especially ones with themes.
17. I worked at a salmon-canning factory in Alaska for the five summers following high school.
18. My first love/infatuation (more infatuation because I only knew him for three weeks) was a former heroin addict who kicked his habit while incarcerated in LA County Jail for forging checks. I met him in Alaska, of course.
19. I was able to avoid a wholesale implosion in college because I had already gotten all the partying out of my system while attending Southwest Missouri State for the summer before my senior year in high school. SMS was never so sorry to host a program for “gifted” kids.
20. I’m pretty sure that I have a lower SAT score than any of my other friends at Northwestern. I still care.
21. When I was an exchange student in Spain in high school, I got incredible drunk and made out with the brother of a friend. He said lots of things to me that night, but all I understood was that he thought my blonde hair looked like an American movie star’s. My Spanish was so bad that I could only say, “Ha ha, gracias.” I really wanted to ask him if he needed glasses.
22. I have gotten into more stupid situations after drinking Long Island Iced Teas than I care to admit to. And each one is so egregious, I cannot even begin to confess to them. ;) Oh, fine, I'll confess ONE: After too many ice-t's I found myself (at 19) dancing with a 30+ year old fella that was cute, but balding. And a few inches shorter than me. And I kissed him! Whaaa??? How did that happen??
23. I started DJing at an oldies station when I was in high school. It was this job and a love for the movies that landed me at Northwestern in the radio/tv/film department.
24. I dj’d at WNUR (NU’s radio station) all four years that I was there. I worked on the Rock and StreetBeat shows… I put a lot more time into the rock show, but I always loved the dance music best.
25. My mom had me join Weight Watchers in the 5th grade because I was a little heavy. I can still remember those hideous diet lunches in my Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox. Yuck.
26. I hate it when people laugh uncontrollably at other people falling down. Only because my initial response is to gasp in fear that they are hurt.
27. I have only contemplated cheating on my husband once in the thirteen years that we have been together (and by “cheating” I only mean kissing!) .... I was incredibly drunk at the time ....We were on vacation ....And it was with a woman. (She was one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and, if Daddy-007 had asked nicely, I swear I would’ve let him come along for the ride. ;)
28. I got into college with an essay about why I was destined to be a star. Seriously. Northwestern has hopefully upped their standards since 1990.
29. I'm kind of a bitch first thing in the morning.
30. My vibrator scares me. I got it after a wildly enthusiastic recommendation from a friend, but didn’t consider how intimidating it would be to have a toy that needs to be plugged into the wall. Yikes!
31. I thought I was pretty darn good at Scrabble so I entered a local Scrabble tournament last year. I got my ass handed to me.
32. I used to go to Mexico for a yearly spa vacation with a friend, but we abused the open pharmacy policy (available in small towns) too much and had to stop.
33. I am a sore fucking loser. (See next entry for an example.)
34. I used to love racquetball, but I stopped playing when I was 19. After a girl in class offered to “help me” with some of the moves after she beat me so quickly and soundly we had 10 minutes to kill before all the other players finished their game.
35. My three giant babies did not do nice things to my body; this is why I had to have what the doctors call a “perineorraphy” and what advertisements call “vaginal rejuvenation.” I’m happy to report: It really works, ladies!
36. I feed off of compliments, but would hate to ever seem like I was fishing for them.
37. Some days I look in the mirror and see myself 30 pounds heavier than I actually am. I avoid the mirror on those days.
38. I took this awesome class my junior year in college that was, essentially, a bird-watching seminar.
39. I’ve been blessed with three great dogs in my life: Dolly (Pekingese), Oni (pug), and Austin (lab/mutt).
40. I know how to wind up wires so they don’t tangle when you unwind them.
41. I am not sure how I am ever going to come up with 59 more things for this list…
42. I used to have this awesome little green terrycloth short-suit that I wore all the time when I was 7 or 8…. even after my uncle started referring to me as the “Green Sausage” when I wore it.
43. That same uncle used to call me “Gamy Amy.”
44. He is still my favorite uncle!
45. A week after it happened, I found out that the first boy I ever made out with (in 8th grade) only did it because one of the other guys on the pep bus dared him to.
46. I had what amounted to a nervous breakdown when I was 23. It was brought on by a combination of too many responsibilities at my first job out of college, being broke and having a dentist botch three fillings that left me in constant pain.
47. I cured that breakdown by tagging along on my best friend’s family’s road trip to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival. It remains one of my favorite all-time vacations. And prompted me to get into real estate. Which led me to my amazing husband... :) Fate is amazing, isn't it?
48. I gained four pounds vacationing in Italy despite walking 15 miles a day.
49. Someday I want to stay at this little hotel that is on the edge of the gardens of Stourhead in England called the “Spread Eagle Inn.”
50. When my husband and I stay in a cheap motel we feel obliged to have the tawdriest sex we are capable of.
And for Thousand Word Thursday, here's a pic of me and Daddy-007 taken last May while at the Museum of Modern Art. Little did I know that that trip would set me on the trail of self-examination that brought be HERE to blog-land. Thanks a million, MoMA!!
Check out the awesome originator of the Thousand Word Thursday at Cheaper than Therapy, then go check out TheMomJen's new review site Therapeutic.