Thursday, December 18, 2008

One Morning a Week...

The inimitable Braja, from everyone's new favorite blog Lost and Found In India (and if it is not one of your favorites, it soon will be) approached me with this lovely little idea to share our mornings, in tandem posts, giving our readers a glimpse of what life is like on opposite sides of the Earth. And opposite in almost every way, I suspected....

I immediately thought about my average morning which finds me playing possum in bed while my husband wrangles the kids through the morning routine and out the door to the bus stop. I only emerge from bed at that juncture to ostensibley watch over the Animal, but in reality just turn on the tv, pour myself a cup of coffee and retreat to my office to check my email for comments and start the daily surf through my favorite blogs.

And then I thought about what Braja's mornings might be like in India. I imagined her rolling out of bed without an alarm or children crying, perhaps annoyed by the sound of nearby workmen or a godforsaken wedding party still clamoring at dawn, but probably just waking because her circadian rhythms dictate that is time to rise. She would then head to her marbled kitchen where her husband has left the kettle already warm on the stove for her tea, which she would brew in blessed silence, perhaps reading the paper or proofing one of her posts to pass the minutes until the water boils and the tea finishes steeping. I see her adding honey and milk and then retreating to her office to check her emails and start her daily blogging rituals, too, but sighing that she really should be doing her sun salutations instead...

I can't wait to read her post and see if I am even remotely close to right about her morning. :) I also almost dread to compare my boisterous, seriocomic mornings to her more exotically located and presumably more peaceful ones, but life is an adventure, so here it is, in all its kid-centric glory:

I rolled over and noted that the partially obscured by some bedside detritus clock said it was 6:twenty-something. It almost registered that that meant we were late getting up. The absolute silence in the house alerted me to the fact that everyone must still be asleep (a rarity at 6 am in our house, I assure you) and prompted me to immediately fall back asleep, too. A few minutes later the Animal started to whine and I knew that the short moment of silence I had been too sleepy to appreciate was over for the day. Daddy-007 sighed and got up as I pulled the covers higher and rolled away from the closet light he had clicked on.

A short while later I got the call, "Amy, I need some help down here!" Usually, I get myself downstairs about 6:50 to help with the final throes of the morning routine, making sure that the kids are properly outfitted for the weather and have their backpacks, kisses and "I Love You's" before the head to the bus stop with Dad at 7 a.m. Today I was late to the scene and found bedlam already on the scene. Capt. Chaos (CC-the eldest, 9) was ready to roll, but his sidekick, Destructo (the 7 y.o.), was on full ADHD-Alert and could barely stand in one spot long enough to pick his nose, much less manage getting on snow pants, coat, mittens, hat, and boots. (And forget the backpack, it wasn't where it belonged by the door, so it may as well be in India with Braja for all the hope he had of finding it.) Daddy-007 was at the end of his patience and was currently sidetracked with helping the Animal back into his undies and pants after his morning "pooh-pooh", so I helped reign in Destructo, holding his chin so he could make eye contact with me (thus ensuring he was listening) while I explained that he needed to stop moving so we could help him with his gear. Thankfully he slowed down, only dragging himself away a couple more times to lap the downstairs in search of god-knows-what before finally getting the boots on (as seen in the picture) and out the door. Sigh. I trudged immediately to the TV and let the Animal choose between The Magic School Bus and Meteor: Monster Truck something or other, and then turned the volume way down before going to get that morning magic mug o' coffee. And it wasn't there. We had forgotten to set up the machine to brew the coffee the night before! I was too tired to even be upset about it and just turned on the tea kettle to boil.... And then tripped over Destructo's backpack which happened to be lying in the middle of the kitchen floor. How he doesn't crash into the walls running around that blindly, I'll never know!

I'll end it there, as I'm sure you are traumatized enough. And now I can finally scoot over to Lost and Found In India to check out Braja's post which I hope you will do, too. Enjoy! And if you've been lurking about, please leave a comment!! I am often overwhelmed with my kids and need more reasons to ignore them and go check out your blogs and respond to your comments!

22 comments:

  1. Oh. My. God. Braja's morning could not be more different! So spiritual and a lovely little slice of her morning... I feel like Don King over here with the blow-by-blow of the main event!!

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  2. Maybe we can progress from writing about our mornings to TRADING our mornings...wait...that's not my way of saying I want to sleep with your husband.

    I bow down to you, seriously: and to anyone else who has children and has to go thru this daily. I feel like a cowardly wreck without substance when I see your life...it makes me cringe. I am a spoiled and hopeless brat, and you're like totally ENGAGED in so many others' lives...ok I'm going to crawl back to my hole now...(btw, what's your husba...ok forget it..)

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  3. My husband just said "Amy's hot, when are you going to Wisconsin?"

    Not that you're not hot, but I've had baths deeper than that guy. Shit.

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  4. Braja: I want to hear more about your husband, he sounds rather abused! ;) But he obviously has amazing taste in women, so I'm inclined to forgive him a little shallowness. And I find it interesting that our posts have made us both feel inadequate in some way. THAT wasn't the idea behind this!... OK, seriously, I am going to sleep now. Taking it off-line....

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  5. OK - enough husband-swapping already! I loved your post Amy because I can so totally relate! I have two high-energy kids that bounce off the walls in the mornings because it is such FUN to be alive! Getting up at 6 am is a lie-in... At the weekends, my 7-yr-old is awake even earlier as she doesn't want to miss a single minute of the days when she doesn't have to go to school...

    Thank goodness for coffee is all I can say! But I do love them spirited - docile is just no fun - although it may well be quieter!

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  6. Ha !! that was funny .. my mom would have better related to it when me and my siblings were school going kids ;)

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  7. Ok Amy, Braja already kicked my ass so no teasing from me. Great post. Why do we fool ourselves into going back to sleep when we know its only going to be a couple of minutes. Its soooo much harder to get up the second time. Gosh its so hard to type while I'm doing all these sun salutations.

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  8. Great post!! I'm on my way over there!AND...
    Hey I just tagged you for a very panic inducing game!!... at least for me anyway!

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  9. That's what I like about people who write. You've taken that wonderfully chaotic spot of time and turned it into a true gem. Real art, Amy. Nicely done. Even down to the tea kettle.

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  10. LadiFi: I hear you... my 9 y.o. wakes up at 5:30 on the weekends to get more precious TV and play time in. I think it's funny now that I don't have to be involved!

    PrettyMe: Love your handle, conjures up a little princess looking in reflective water for some reason!

    Rants: I'd disagree, I think it is much harder waking up the first time! I have some time to steel myself for the day when I get to lie there a while longer.

    Kel: I accepted your game challenge and took the picture... It is hilarious and I will post tomorrow morning. I will contemplate my victims until then. Mwaaahahahaha!

    Grandpa: Thank you so much! That means a lot that you think my chaos is gem-like in any way, shape or form. :)

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  11. I TOTALLY love this idea, and am pissed you bitches thought of it first. HOwever, I say that with LOVE.

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  12. I will have to hop on over there. What a fun idea for a post!

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  13. This is some funny shit. You two are like The Odd Couple!!

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  14. Vodka Mom: It's all Braja, as usual. I'm just a pawn in her plan for world domination! ;) A happy pawn, though.

    Kristina: You will be astounded with the difference in our mornings...

    King: Ne'er a truer word was spoke, my new friend! Our lives are vastly different, but our spirits are amazingly alike.

    Thanks for reading, commenting and following!!!

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  15. Man... I would go nuts! Good thing I don't have kids yet huh??? I already told the wife if she wants us to have kids we better be rich enough so she can stay home and help raise them! lol

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  16. Hi,
    I don’t have words what to say,
    Your words touched my heart . Wishing you in advance "A Merry X'Mas and A Happy New Year''

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  17. Oh what a typical morning in an American household with kids! I'm very curious now to see the India post!

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  18. Sabrae: I hate to break it to you, but even if you're rich enough to both stay home, three kids is enough to throw ANY house into chaos! :)

    Femin Susan: Thank you so much! Merry Christmas to you!!

    Jenners: I'd like to see a house that runs like clockwork in the morning before school so I could pick up some tips... I'm afraid we really are pretty typical (except for the ADHD component which can really ratchet up the whole situation some days.

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  19. Captain Chaos and Destructo - LOVE IT!! :)

    I'm going to enjoy bouncing back and forth between you and Braja. You're both hilarious in your own right and the two of you combined is just fabulous to read!

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  20. Hey bitchin' diva! I've got a new pic up of the burgundy tights that you love! ;-)

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  21. I love you guys! (and I mean that in a non-drunk-at-3am kind of way). And, um, people proof their posts? Was I supposed to be doing this? ;)

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  22. How did I miss this fun thing?

    It's interesting to hear how both of your mornings went!

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Thoughts appreciated. Advice welcome. Douche-baggery scoffed at then deleted.