"You're kidding! You're 36? You don't look any older than 32!"

This, from a guy definitely younger than 25.... Nice. Amazingly, I was drunk enough to still take it as a compliment.

My best friend from college is in town for a visit this weekend, so we decided to spend the night up in the Wisconsin Dells at Sundara Spa, this chi-chi spa that is all about serenity and inner peace and aligning your chakra while wandering the feng shui facilities.... While we were getting our pedicures, my choice of gold toenail polish made it apparent that I had other things on my agenda than engaging in a peaceful evening of quiet soul-searching conversation in front of our room's fireplace. I asked my aestheticion where two ladies might find some karaoke on a Friday night and she gave us directions to the Showboat Saloon. I thought gold nailpolish might be just the thing for a venue by the name of Showboat and that raucous, drunken singing might also be par for the course. Oh, lordy, were we in for a treat!

We arrived at the saloon primed to go from a fab steak dinner at Field's and set up a tab to keep the whiskey drinks a-flowin'. I got busy selecting some songs from the massive karaoke folder.... Not everyone knows this about me, although if you met me you would probably pick up on it pretty quickly, but I am a total rock star in my own mind. I love to sing and, quite honestly, there is no better time out on the town than one that ends up with me behind a microphone with words being lit up in yellow on a nearby television screen. Add at least two admiring and enthusiastic audience members (I'm not too greedy/needy!) and I am higher than a kite.

The Showboat was absolutely howling-- there was a huge group of women there that all worked together and were out celebrating a birthday or some such, and were extremely well-lubed by 10pm when we arrived. The fact that half of the younger girls were grinding on the other half of older ladies to some raunchy 90's tune was a sure indication that they were sauced. They were getting up and singing country songs, so I started with Patsy Cline's "Walkin' After Midnight." Sure enough, as tight-knit groups tend to do, they cleared the dance floor as soon as an unknown party took the stage. Blah. I hate that. So, after waiting an excruciating amount of time, I finally got to do another one.... The Scorpions "Rock You Like a Hurricane". This is NOT one of my standards, but the skank level in the joint was through the roof, so I really wanted to pull the audience in and I happen to know the song well through my standing Guitar Hero addiction. I hate to brag (okay, fine, I LOVE to brag) but I totally knocked that song out of the ballpark. The DJ actually said, "THAT FUCKING ROCKED!!!!!!!" when I gave him the mic back. :) :) :) I could barely carry my head off the stage, it was so effing big.

My voice was in good shape, so I was starting to get some big ideas on what I could carry off. My next song was TLC's "Creep." Truly playing to the crowd, which, by this time, was amazingly, staggeringly trashed.... The dance floor was packed, girls singing along, and I was hitting my notes despite changing octaves pretty frequently (the song is so low in parts that I had to keep switching to avoid missing notes). Totally great and so fun to have a crowd just going wild-- I am used to performing in this tiny little place called the Karaoke Kid that usually has no more that 12 people in it. I can totally see how being a real, live rock star would be the biggest, most addictive high in the world. Not to mention how it would turn you into a hideous, egomaniacal asshole.

This post is getting horrendously long, so I will continue tomorrow with PART II.... The Holy Grail of karaoke show-stoppers....

You can also relive some of the magic by checking out this playlist that includes the two songs I mentioned..... Amy's Raunchy Playlist