Random Tuesday BlogHer Fashion Bits

Random Tuesday Roundup is hosted by The Un Mom.

You know, I was blessedly unaware of all the brouhaha surrounding What To Wear? to BlogHer next week.... until today. I find myself inexplicably drawn into the fray and starting to worry:
Oh, no! Do I need to go buy Spanx to control my tummy pooch?
(Wait a second- aren't we almost ALL moms there??)
I don't have a nice blazer to wear if I get chilly during the lectures!
Should I go buy one?
Oh, crap, I only have one pair of sexy jeans and they are too low-rise to sit down while wearing!
What if I don't have $170 right now to go get another pair that will hide the crack o' my ass while still maintaining sufficient levels of hawt-ness!?!?

OH super crapola.... I just realized that I am due to get my period on the Friday of BlogHer. Expect supreme bitchiness and no emoticons to soften it up! Oh, No! :( or more tears than you might be comfortable with. Example:

Me: Wait a second. YOU are Bejewell?? Oh my Gaaaaawd! I LOVE you so much!!! I remember that time you wrote about going to the mall with your little Bean and then he fell down and then you just realized how amazing life is and how precious your family is and how much you love that little guy and your husband, too!" *sniff*sniff*
Bejewell: Yeah. I wrote that a couple weeks ago. I noticed that you commented for the first time in, like, six months. I thought that was cool.
Me: Yeah, well, you know.... *wiping away the quickly drying tears* We're all busy....
Bejewell: Oh! I think I see FADKOGª over there. Gotta run! Nice meeting you. *awkward offering of hand, pointedly NOT hugging*
[Turning to Ann] Me: Ouch. *dabbing at tears springing once more to eyes* That was awkward! *Sniff* *Bawling!* I just thought it would be like a big party here! I didn't realize I'd have to be an ardent admirer AND commenter for these beeetches to be nice!!! *wah-haa-haaa!*

Oh, you think I can't be that lame and sensitive while under the influence of Aunt Flow? Try me.

ªDon't get your hopes up: FADKOG can't make it. :( Wait a sec.... I think some more waterworks are coming on! Boooohooohooo~sniffle~

Oh, but thank sweet baby Jesus, having my period doesn't make me pitchy (yes, I meant to write pitchy, not bitchy)! I am so plotting a karaoke takeover with my posse of beautiful Wisconsin Bloggers. You heard it here first, folks: the gauntlet has been thrown.

Wait, did I just throw the gauntet about karaoke or, rather did I throw a different gauntlet claiming that MaggieDammit, Mommy Always Wins and Ann's Rants are MY posse??

So, I'm getting pretty concerned with my shoe situation for BlogHer. As in: OMG, I AM SO FUCKING CONCERNED!!!! You may not know this about me (and Lord knows you already know too much) but I've got [ba-ba-buuuuuuum] Fallen Arches! Yes, it's true. I have orthotics, for cryin' out-freakin'-loud! This may not sound too serious to you. But to me, well, it spells hard times for a girl who wants to be prancing around on her stiletto heels all night. Actually, if I wear the proper footwear during the day and use the orthotics, I can make it through one night of extreme heel wearing unscathed. But TWO nights of heels.... God Forbid, THREE nights?? Well, my poor dogs will be barkin' all day and long into the night. So I am left with a fashion quandary that I am positive only Tim Gunn will be able to help me with: What shoes can this young(ish), sassy mommy wear on her old(okay, ancient)-beyond-their-years feet that will look as good as they feel??

Right now, these Keen Sandals will NOT make the grade for BlogHer attire =========>



<=======Especially when all I want to wear are these!

I am going to TRY and rock my pencil skirt! I will also try to rock my sexy low-rise jeans without getting in too much plumber-trouble (by wearing an appropriately long shirt, 'natch). And, I personally promise Tim that I will not don a sweatsuit of any ilk all weekend long! But, hey, I really need some help figuring out how to work with orthotics while making good fashion choices! Help Me!!

I leave you with The Dude:

Random Tuesday Roundup is hosted by The Un Mom. Check out her site and then join in the Tuesday randomness.

Mommy GrumpBag

My husband left today for a five-day trip back home to sort out all the loose ends at the house and property in Wisconsin. Leaving ME with these little heathens that we call our children.

I thought I had until Tuesday (that's a solid 48 hours) before I lost it with them, but apparently PollyAnna must've been advising me on my patience length. I've completely had it with them already. We had to have a little discussion with CC and Destructo (9 and 7, respectively) before bedtime (a mere 8 hours after daddy's departure) where I laid down some guidelines to how we could all have an enjoyable week together. Here's the list:

1. They must understand that I am not to be spoken to ONLY when they need, want, don't like, want to change, or broke something.

2. I am their mother, not a servant or maid. I am happy to spend time with them and help them figure stuff out along the way. I am not there to satisfy their every demand throughout the day.

3. They are not the Daddy. They are not allowed to boss around the Animal and mete out punishments as they see fit. If there is a problem with his behavior that cannot be tolerated, they are to inform me and I will deal with it.

4. "Sorry" doesn't mean anything to me if it is not backed up by changes in their behavior. Period.

I am really quite easy to please and am pretty easy to get along with. Really! But these children seemed to find something wrong with almost everything we did today.... going swimming with a new toy (fights! tears! recriminations!), going to a maze with friends (I don't WANT to go! scowl! I want to stay home!), eating spaghetti for dinner (I don't like spaghetti! I want ramen noodles, instead! Ed. Note: Are you eff-ing kidding me??), and ice cream for dessert (I wanted bubblegum! I want Superman flavor! I want a bigger scoop!!).

Seriously, my 9 year old made his own dinner of ramen noodles while the other FOUR adults and FIVE children sat down to devour a mountain of spaghetti. I know I can't make him like something he doesn't, but give me a break. Who doesn't like spaghetti?!? I feel like I have failed as a mother every time he turns down a plate.

I don't feel like I have failed you, though, dear reader, as I am gifting my spaghetti recipe to you all. It originally appeared here, but I'm reprinting the whole thing below. Enjoy!

Using a tip from a friend (thank you, Heather!), I finally modified my old recipe and get an amazing spaghetti meat sauce that only takes about 3 hours. You can eat it sooner and it will be way better than anything you get out of a jar, but if you get it on the stovetop before the kids get home from school and then leave it there until dinnertime-- I swear you will be happy. It freezes really well, too, so I always make a huge batch and then throw the leftovers in a few different containers and pull them out on days when there isn't time to cook and we are sick of Trader Joe's Mandarin Orange Chicken (which, actually, the kids NEVER get sick of, just us adults). Serve it with a salad and an oven toasted baguette. That is my comfort food!

Spaghetti Sauce
1 tsp. olive oil
2 lbs. ground sirloin (if you don't mind the fat, use gr. chuck-it tastes better)
1 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, put through a press
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. thyme
2 bay leaves
1 jar Trader Joe's Tomato Basil Marinara (or other store brand- just tomato and basil, tho!)
2 15-oz. cans of Muir Glen Fire-Roasted Diced Tomatoes
1 small can tomato paste + 3 cans of water

Add olive oil to a large stockpot, over med. high heat. Add onions and sauté about three minutes, add crushed garlic and stir for about a minute. Add hamburger and cook until it there is no pink left. At this point, I usually tip the pot over the edge of the stovetop to drain any grease out that may have accumulated. After you get the grease out, turn back to medium-high heat and add the spices. Stir the spices into meat until aromatic and then add all the tomatoes, sauce, tomato paste and water. Bring to a boil and then turn down to a simmer. Stir occasionally. Cook for about three hours. Enjoy!

Bonus Parting Shot: One of my sons, who shall remain nameless, was overheard saying this today: "I have to penetrate from the back AND the front to conquer him!!!" War isn't pretty, is it?

Weekly Winners July 5-11

Headlong rush into the lake.

Into the drink

Loose tooth and healing scar.

They aren't always fighting....

Like father, like son.

Waiting turns at the ladder.

Found asleep at the rail in the front of the boat.

Thanks to Lotus of Sarcastic Mom for hosting Weekly Winners.

The House is Empty.... Uh,.... Let's PARTY!

I went home to steam clean the carpets, weed the garden, clean and seal the granite countertops and to do some general work/cleanup stuff that I figured daddy-007 wouldn't have time to do next week when he goes to the house for the last time before the renters move in at the end of the month. It was sad and all that, but now that it is empty and devoid of so much of the character that we filled it with over the years, it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be.

I mean, it wasn't hard until the hangover got me.

"Hangover?!", you say? Bemused and arching your eyebrows, shaking your head at the shenanigans that poor Amy has gotten up to again.....

I called a few friends and sent out a well-timed tweet regarding a certain time to meet up at The Karaoke Kid... a local karaoke dive that ranks as one of my favorite Madison watering holes. And, lo and behold, 8:30 pm rolls around and there I am, with a Maker's Mark and Diet Coke in hand, freshly off my kickin' new bicycle, with my best gal-pal, sidled up next to me at the bar. :) And then those crazy bloggers arrived! First we had Ann's Rants, then MaggieDammit, and then Chris of Picklesdickles.blogspot.com infamy....

I had myself one hell of a last hurrah and paid the ultimate price on Thursday morning.

Hangover central. Near death. Dry heaves. Ugh.

But, I gotta say, IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!!



And now I've said goodbye to our beautiful house and can get on with the summer. :)

xoxo
Amysprite

p.s. Apologies to Braja.... She may not get to join us to go out to karaoke bars, but she's got my undivided attention for relaxing mornings from opposite ends of the earth. :) Watch out for our newly named British Raj, One Morning A Week tandem posts which will resume once my relocation to England is complete.

Random Tuesday Roundup: UK Visa Acquisition Edition

The process to get Daddy-007's student visa was so harrowing that you should count yourself lucky that I spared you the details. However, now that all is said and done and we have the visas firmly affixed to our passports for the next three years, I feel at liberty to talk about it without throwing up or needing to dash the loo. (Ooooh, see that? I'm practicing being British!) Random Tuesday Roundup (hosted by The Un Mom) seems like the perfect venue to regale you with the more interesting parts of the process.




The UK Immigration paperwork and evidence process is infuriating, frustrating, mind-bogglingly tedious, and a fair bit frightening. It was not helpful to us that they just imposed a new set of rules one month before we applied. In fact, it was downright maddening that the rules were written poorly, difficult to decipher, and unclear in their intent and portent. If one has a question regarding the visa application process or regulations and they cannot answer their question with the aid of the on-line FAQs, their only place to ask questions charges $3 per minute or a flat fee of $12.oo per call. The Furious Five have paid this particular "help" agency a total of $72.00.

The new regulations stipulated that we obtain a Visa Letter from the institution that is my husband will attend. We were unfortunate to be in the first round of students to be required to obtain said letter, as it took about two weeks for said institution to figure out who was responsible for creating this new letter and what exactly the visa letter was.

We finally got the visa letter and all other supporting documents collected (passports, birth certificates, marriage certificates, oh, my!), finished the tedious hours of online forms, and FedExed off the package to the British Consulate.

We received our notice of denial on June 10th.

I thought I was going to throw up. We have rented our house. We are scheduled to pack up our house into a sea container on June 23 (hooray, what a way to spend my birthday!). I am supposed to leave for a week-long photography seminar in 3 days. The kids are supposed to leave for summer camp in 4 days. WTF??

I'll tell you WTF: We did not include the proper "supporting documents" for 007's admission to the university. Apparently, we were supposed to include his transcript from the college he graduated from here in the US. Because the visa letter from the school isn't enough to prove that he got in? Does it say anywhere that this is required? It said, "send supporting documents for school admission." A $12 call to the help desk clarified that for me by saying, "send in any paperwork that your husband has pertaining to his admission to the school." I took that to mean the acceptance letter and the visa letter, silly me.

I set aside all packing and devote myself to redoing all the paperwork. YES, you have to start over from scratch if you botch the visa application. YES, you have to pay the $1200 in visa application fees again. YES, you have to go and get your biometrics (face scan/fingerprints) collected again from your local Dept. of Homeland Security Office again.

It took me no less than six hours to fill out the five applications required of our family. Most of the questions I had on the application the first time were answered as I went through the process a second time.... because it was largely re-written and included all kinds of little "help" sections to clarify what the Immigration people really want to know.

Thank you British Immigration for flatly denying our application because of errors that you clearly knew were giving people problems because of poorly written instructions. We are very happy to contribute $1200 to the refinement of your regulatory verbage.

New documents were added, paperwork readied, and all recollected.... but there was still a daunting hurdle to overcome: Time. We needed to make appointments at the Dept. of Homeland Security in Milwaukee to get our fingerprints/photos collected. Because we couldn't schedule appointments for the next day- Friday!- and the kids were leaving for two weeks of sleepaway camp, we were left with a heap of crummy option: they would have to start camp late, miss a couple days in the middle (as camp was a 6 hour drive from Milwaukee, as opposed to the one hour away from our house) it would be a great inconvenience to all concerned, or we would have to wait two and a half weeks before going and sending in the new application. (This would require us shipping our earthly belongings to England without knowing if we had been approved for the visas yet!)

Enter Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin to save The Furious Five's collective behind!!

Her Constituent Support staffwoman came to our aid (after two tearful, anxiety-ridden phone calls from yours truly) and got us appointments at the Homeland Sec. office THE NEXT DAY.

The boys had to miss the last day of school (and saying goodbye to their friends one last time) but we got to Milwaukee, had our information collected, and got the whole package in the mail before I left for Missoula the next day.

I don't think my stress level has ever been higher.

We got our approved visas a week ago. Right before our rescheduled sea container arrived to be packed up. Phew!

If you have a minute.... One of the more interesting exercises to complete on the application was listing every country you've visited in the last 10 years and why you were there. I think I took for granted just how much I've gotten to travel over the years, because this was a time-consuming and concentration requiring exercise! Esp. when I had to sort out which trips I went on with my husband, without him, with the kids, without them, etc. Every person in the house had a different list! The Animal was the only person to not have anything on his list. :)

Ok, one last thing:
I Think Jon Stewart's Daily Show writing staff is stealing from me. I know, those are some big words, missy... and, really, HOW could they steal from me anyway, right? Well, let me tell you:

While I was dealing with the nightmare of paperwork concerning our visas to the UK. The online forms for these things are ludicrously long. I mean, I GET that they want to keep the riffraff out. I do! But if I am a reasonably intelligent, well-educated person and I am having this much trouble wading through it all and interpreting every nuance, then how is everyone else doing it?? So anyway, at about 1 am I let loose with a terrific rant on Twitter against the British Immigration process that went something like this:

Now, if you were to take the time to watch this video from the Daily Show that aired the next night (and I totally understand if you don't want to), it offers compelling evidence that they did indeed steal my rant almost verbatim. Only they're talking about the European Parliament.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Indecision 2009 - Everywhere but Here Edition
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Newt Gingrich Unedited Interview

If you watch this at the time: 2:04 for a about 20 seconds, you'll get there.

Sorry for the length of this post.... hope it was interesting and not as tedious to get through as that paperwork. If yu have any questions about the process, don't hesitate to ask me! I am now intimitely acquainted with the Tier 4 Student Visa application and am available to help. For free!

Oh, wait.... I left out the kicker:

The immigration people didn't even OPEN the sealed envelope with his transcript in it!

Grrrrr.

Weekly Winners June 28 - July 4th

I finally got my act somewhat collected to join in Sarcastic Mom's Weekly Winners photography linky that she holds on Sundays. Because I am lazy, it will have to stand as my Monday post, as well. But never fear, Bitchin' folk, I will return with a tale of drama and despair to fill you in on the ordeal of attaining our visas for entrance to the UK. Methinks that Drama seems to be nipping at my heels at any given time of the day or night, these past months, so take it with a grain of salt or stay tuned for the saga I am preparing to share....

In the meantime, enjoy the splendor of a magical Fourth of July week in Iowa:

Capt. Chaos got up on skis for the first time! He will be a seasoned pro before we know it.... he is a natural. I am inordinately proud of him for this big accomplishment!

The Animal was running a full-charm offense this past week, winning over the hearts of little girls, swooning adults, and even jaded parents....

The carnival was a beautiful place to be between the times of 8:55 and 9:45 p.m.

He's a winner in his own mind. (And maybe mine, too.)

Fireworks over the lake with boats all around.

I'm not sure what he was crying about, as he just finished eating a plate of whipped cream to get to the piece of Hubba Bubba at the bottom!

C.C. came in second in the big Hula Hoop Championship!!!

Gearing up for the 4th!!

Despite the misgivings that I have every year about hanging out at the carnival with the kids for hours on end, I pushed the memories of rickety machinery that gave me a concussion when I was 10 years old back down inside, and decided to bring them out for Wrist Band Day this afternoon.

By myself.

That makes ME and the three little Prickly (sleep-deprived) Princes, all going to the carnival via foot and stroller in our little town by the lake.

Insane? Maybe. Ill-conceived? You'd think so. Enlightened? Oh, yeah, baby!

We ended up having a lovely two and a half hours of repeated rides that culminated with snow cones for the exhausted walk home. Not only that, I got them all showered and bathed before dinner and then The Animal fell asleep at the table at 7 p.m. on the nose. Nodding away and almost falling out of his chair in his exhaustion. I carried him to bed and he's been down ever since. The other two happily snuggled in for Harry Potter book time at 9 p.m. (a vast improvement over the 10 p.m. start time of the last two nights) and were out before 10.

I wish Daddy-007 was here for the fun, too, but he was off having his own little carnival in Wisconsin. More like a festival of gun power, actually, as he and a group of buddies headed to the clay trap shooting range (is that what you call it?) to "blow shit up." His words, not mine. ;)

Here are some fun pics of the kiddos at the carnival:

The Yo-Yo

First time on the ferris wheel!

One more thing: I just got my business cards for BlogHer! You might notice that I picked up a sponsor for my blog about a month ago, you can see their logo and link to the right there: Uprinting. com. They approached me a while ago and I thought that with my interest in photography and design, the fit might be good. Well, so far it has been great. There blog sponsorship team has been a breeze to work with, I was delighted to make a few bucks when they chose to advertise on my blog for three months, and they have some fun contests that they've been running that offer the chance to win some more money. If you are interested in this sort of thing for your blog, drop them a line. If you are just looking for cards, I have to say that I am very happy with my green business cards that I will be handing out at BlogHer.

Here is their info:

Why UPrinting.com isn't your average printing
company:

Non-Profit Sponsorships:
The U-Community'>http://www.uprinting.com/About-Community.html">U-Community Program sponsors hundreds of non-profits and education to improve our
local communities.

Social Justice Projects:
The UPrinting'>http://www.kiva.org/lender/uprinting">UPrinting Kiva account promotes small business growth in developing countries.

Green Printing:
UPrinting supports a sustainable future by recycling, using non-toxic inks, and
offering eco-friendly recycled paper stocks for business'>http://www.uprinting.com/Business-Cards.html">business cards and postcard'>http://www.uprinting.com/Postcards.html">postcard printing.

Thousand Word Thursday

I had great plans of showing you a montage of our trashed, all boxed up house, culminating with a photo of the sea container packed and getting sent down the road.... but I forgot my card reader and cables at the house. And Daddy-007's camera decided to not work at exactly the moment he remembered to take the photo of the packed container.

So I am giving you some good old-fashioned Americana goodness, instead:

We are blessed with having an ancestral summer home in the middle of the cornfields of Iowa. It is a small town (maybe a few thousand in population), on the shores of a lake, that embraces the all-American, small-town 4th of July extravaganza with the same gusto that . There will be a parade, barbecues, picnics, games for the kids, prizes and candy for all. Oh, and don't forget the carnival! I will be taking photos of the carnival as soon as my hubby gets up here and am looking forward to using some of my new skillz to get some great ones of the lights (and the carnies, too!).

This Isn't Like Me....

...but I was so busy last week that I didn't have a chance to tell you that it was my birthday last Tuesday!!

When in my normal element, I never miss the opportunity to reap birthday wishes like a well planted crop, i.e. Starting a week or so before June 23rd, I tell anyone that will listen that my "special day" is coming and that, no, I don't have anything in particular that I am dying for (except this year I was hoping Nintendo might drop a Wii Fit on my door step.... no dice), no presents, please!, and then I sit back and enjoy the fuss that everyone makes on the actual day. I know that some people don't like to draw attention to their birthday, but I am clearly cut from some birthday-lovin' cloth. (Or it is some sort of psychological pathology that develops from having a summer birthday and after years of never seeing your friends on your birthday because it happens to be the week that everyone goes on summer vacation and/or you live so deep in the country that your mother is compelled to celebrate your birthday like she is a 100 people, not just one.)

This is my first year to celebrate a birthday while blogging and I just assumed that I would flog my birthday for all it was worth! I mean, the only place more ideally suited to gathering up those birthday wishes is facebook. (And thank goodness for that, because my friends really came through and showered me with birthday wishes there. :) Twitter let me down a little, but I can't blame it, because I let everyone know it was my birthday almost three weeks ago! Realizing just how ridiculous I am about my birthday, I started signing my tweets "The Birthday Narcissist." Pretty apropos, no? ;-)

So, my birthday has come and gone. I've said goodbye to 36 and am anxious for the adventures that will unfold while 37. My biggest achievement of the past year is the development of this blog and the great sense of satisfaction and community that comes with it. So thank you to YOU and have a piece of cake.

And, no, please don't feel compelled to say "happy birthday" in the comments....
unless you really want to. ;-)

P.S. The packing hell is almost over! I am leaving Iowa this morning to head back Wisconsin for the final days of packing/cleaning. The container gets packed up on Wednesday and then I come back to IA for a summer of relaxation and gearing up for BlogHer *SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!*

Thousand Word Thursday

The goodbyes are pretty much over now. And I am feeling so blessed with the friends that I have made here in the last ten years. So many lovely, talented, and fun women have touched my life and saying goodbye last night made it crystal clear that this truly isn't a goodbye at all. We will see each other again. We will continue our friendships. And the distance to England will not be as scary as I have been afraid it would. :) I am strengthened and heartened from our gathering and the act of saying farewell with the hugs and tears that accompanied them....

I leave for Iowa tomorrow and look forward to collecting my boys from camp, relaxing by the lake, and enjoying many sunsets from our porch. And I definitely look forward to finally getting a chance to catch up on your blogs, check up on some of the awesome new followers, and actually have time to respond to comments! (Wheee!!) Thank you so much for sticking around while I move these crazy days, I am amazed that so many people are still here! :))

Check out the fabulous Cheaper than Therapy, where A Thousand Word Thursdays started, and then go check out TheMomJen's review site Therapeutic.